Sunday, April 8, 2007

Domestic violence is not a sudden phenomena

Aishwarya Rai does a 'Provoked' and India sits up.

"This happens in UK, not India. Women are worshipped here." This was one opinion.

"Only an Indian woman could have taken so much. They are used to so much of subjugation, they take it with their chins up." was another.

Really, you cannot draw geographical, communal and class lines where violence is concerned. One perpetrates violence and the other is so trapped that he or she lives with it with hope that it will end on a happier note someday, that there will be light at the end of the tunnel.

But the truth is that a violent person is in need of treatment, consultation and reorientation. He or she resorts to violence as a means of venting out or leashing out suppressed feelings. The victim often is in a dependent situation like that of a financial dependence or emotionally dependent one.

So the dependent person gets blackmailed into playing along and really does too because he or she fears that a revolt will harm either one or all of them.

What the close ones of the perpetrator must realise is that if the person is not given professional help in time, it could harm any or many of them in the long run.

It is a vicious cycle and needs intervention; which if it is not forthcoming from within, should arrive from without.

Because there's only so much that anyone can take.


sanchita said...

India sits up but just to see the what the new flick has to offer. As far as in the real problem is concerned, everyone is busy with their life to really care for such issues. We might discuss it for a while and then move on, who cares...if unfortunately we experiences something like that we will get back to the movie to take a cue.

Suresh said...

You have rightly termed it as a vicious circle while summing up your thoughts. I am no movie-goer to comment on the recent film since I can see a lot of heroines and heroes at my work place and also the villain when I go to the wash room and stand before the mirror.
Anyway, wife-bashing needs to be not only condemned but also be punishable with treatment meted out one short of Islamic law - that is to make the offender(s) experience what it means to ebdure slow death.
However, there have been certain instances of innocent husbands being framed on false charges of harassment and exploitation. My brother had recounted s case of Faridabad dating back to early 80s. It was about a gracious lady who wished to kick her hubby up his back with ample capital gains in terms of maintenance alimony from him by framing false charges of ill-treatment against him.
To prove her contention in the court, she had to cook up some witness and one among them happend to be my brother's friend. Of course, as my brother related, this person was a dignified blackmailer that he made good use of her fiscally as well as physically.
What I mean to say is there are cooked-up instances too which perhaps outnumber the actual cases of wife-bashing and ill-treatment.

ankurindia said...

nice blog

Manav said...

Violence of any kind is totally not acceptable. I also tend to agree that the violent person needs treatment - medical and phycological. Look at wht that guy did in VirginiaTech. Just killed 32 innocent students. What right did he or any one else have to do that. Domestic violance is the worst kind. And in our Indian set up it stems from the fact that the women is more often the dependant person - emotionally, economically and also physically. and our MCP (sorry)males cannot take her desire to be an individual. Hence the easiest way - resort to violance. And as for Mr. Suresh saying charged up cases - my dear friend I know of atleast four to five very highly educated guys bashing up real nice wives. You talk of a cse in the 80s. Any new cases???????????????????

There is a need to educate the people, more so the parents of girls to give their daughters that much of assurance that they can walk out of these situations without the stigma of a marital break up. Marriage is not the be all and end all of life. Living with dignity is. that is what i tell my daughter and that is what I will tell all women.

ankurindia said...

voilance is mixed in our blood , money/social changes is making us more arrogant,our demands are increasing , we dont want to compromise , resulting more and more voilance ,, As far as sex is concerned dont think it matters , if men (bad men) use physical voilance against there wives , wives(bad women) use mental torture against husbands .like forcing them to stay away from there own parents ,creating problems/issues in family ,fake lawsuits etc ...
so it all happens ....
linking it to certain gender is wrong ..and women are no longer week sex ,infact law have given them so much powers that it appears men are weaker sex .